Thursday, October 05, 2006

Pity the cat

A: so
A: the bears won this big game on Sunday and I am kind of into the football
A: and have been listening to the funny call in shows
A: and it dawned on me that with the Met broadcasts, an opera call-in show is now technically possible
J: it's true
J: I mean
J: they have a whole station
J: I sort of can't deal with football
A: I like that it is so manageable
A: only 16 games
J: that is a good point
A: lord knows I have tried to like baseball...but there are just too many other things to do with one's time than watch it for four hours like EVERY day
J: seriously
A: the smaller number of games makes each one kind of consequential, which is also a pro
J: true
J: who would host the opera call-in shows?
J: Juntwait?
A: not
A: it would have to be kind of mean and boisterous
J: "OK, calling from Des Moines Iowa, we have Andrrrrrea Johnzon"
A: yeah
A: no way
A: more like "Gary on west 26th street, you're on the air"
J: yeah totally
J: it would be like the worst case of "you need to turn your radio down"
A: haha
J: "Sir....SIR you have got to turn Vissi D'arte down"
A: haha
A: "Sorry Bill, yeah, I got a question about Idomeneo last night...uh, who does Heppner think he's fooling in this Mozart rep?"
J: "Gary, I know what you're saying. No one's going to argue his moments of clarion brilliance, but you know and I know it is 2006. We can't keep resting on a successful 1992 outing"
A: oh man
A: it would be fun
A: and then there would be all these freaks who fool the producer and then start going on about some obscure singer once they get on the air
J: totally or are like
J: "I love you Renee Fleming. I love you and I know where you live."
A: it would probably need a pretty good lawyer
J: on a different note, they are selling "limited edition" sticks of Secret™ which evidently celebrate "50 Years of Strong Women"
J: Is this the most retarded thing you have ever heard of in your life?
J: Because it is for me.
A: wow
A: that is really, really, f'ing retarded
A: dozens if not hundreds of people had to sit in meetings about that with a straight face
J: "Celebrating 50 Years of Strong Women Not Reeking to High Heaven®"
A: haha
A: “A Half Century of Fighting Woman Stank”
J: haha
J: I think I'm gonna see Gioconda tomorrow
A: nice
J: I am gonna try those ruch tix
A: I am intrigued
A: oh yeah
J: er, rush
A: that is sweet
A: yay gelb
J: yay indeed
J: yay that nice rich lady who is paying for the rush tickets
J: it's like a program sponsored by a board member
J: she and her husband gave $2million specifically to offer the rush tix
J: which is neat
A: yeah
A: I officially invite them to my house for dinner and opera, should they be in Chicago
A: and if they somehow read this
J: well, here's hoping they like cats.
A: my mother was trying to push a kitten on me
J: oh man
A: she's kitten crazy these days
J: she has a problem
J: she is like me and opera tickets
A: totally
A: a surefire way to depress the fuck out of yourself is visiting adoption sites
J: i would want every damn cat
J: I would love to have a kitten
A: look at this female andrew style cat who no one will take:
J: so much amazing in this:
J: "She has been with us for a very long time, only because of her age. She is suck a loving cat...Ask about our Senior Feline reduced prices."
A: yes
J: suck a loving cat
A: won't you today?
J: haha
J: A loving cat. Suck it.
A: ha
A: the punk adoption agency slogan
A: "Get your face smashed...with a sweet kitten"
J: hah
J: that is sad about that Andrew cat
J: we'll call her Andrea
A: ok
A: she has that nice big face
J: did you visit her in person?
A: no, that's actually in Colorado
A: I typed in the wrong thing
J: oh hah
J: I may go into work a little late tomorrow so I can watch Mr. T on Martha
A: that seems valid
A: has something happened with Mr. T recently?
J: he has a new show
J: titled "Pity the Fool"
A: what does that entail?
J: I have no idea
A: perhaps him saying that
A: alot
A: before
J: no doubt
A: today
A: he is aging
J: hahah
J: oh Mr. T
J: I hope his real first name is Vernon
J: Vernon T
J: Mr. Vernon J. T
A: haha
A: it is Laurence Tureaud
A: not bad
J: not bad
J: Mr. T should come do a stint in Chicago the Musical
A: oh man
A: that is gold
J: as Billy Flynn
A: that would be the hottest irony ticket on broadway in a second
J: no kidding
J: Rev. Billy Flynn
A: according to imdb, "Stopped wearing his trademark gold chains as of last year (2005) because of the Katrina devastation."
J: hahaha
A: I kind of feel that "donating" his trademark chains would have been more of a statement
J: you are dissing the T
A: only because I love

7 comments:

manprano said...

Funniest ever boys.

Chalkenteros said...

Yeah -- the idea of Juntwait trying to "handle" hysterical opera queens on the phone during a live broadcast -- that would definitely be worth listening to.

Luxie P. said...

If such a thing were to exist, Opera Call-in Shows, that is, can you imagine Marschallin (via Parterre Box), calling in every hour, starting out with some random question that ALWAYS leads in to "But when Cheryl Studer did it..."

They would have to like, ban his telephone number, hehe.

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CreditCool said...

This is way too funny. Especially for a person who has been studing opera for 4 eyars. A person like me:)

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Anonymous said...

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