A: what is wrong with John Edwards
J: what happened??
J: I missed it
A: just the sex tape thing from the other day
J: did the sex tape come out?
J: well we knew he was spreading his change juice all over the place
J: I missed the SOTU for Carmen
J: I think it's a good thing. It would have given me a heart attack
A: get a close up when i change on your tits, rielle
A: i missed it for a piano recital
A: sounds like it went ok
A: but also sort of glad i didn't watch
A: how wuz carmen?
J: In a new book, a former aide claims that Edwards asked him to fake a paternity test and steal one of the baby's diapers to perform a DNA test on its poop.
J: I mean
J: WHAT is going on with him
J: Carmen was really fun
A: like, he is CRAZY
J: it was Jovanovich' debut
A: that is a CRAZY person that was running for pres
J: I know! and I voted for him once!
A: how is it that he was banging this chick and stealing poo and no one ever leaked it?
A: that is disturbing
A: i read something one time by some journalist about how they were creeped out by edwards
A: that like, every candidate they ever interviewed had an "off" switch where they would stop being in their candidate character and just be a normal person with you
A: but like, they had never seen Edwards in off mode
J: so this Carmen is so much less awful than the old one
A: oh swell
J: and Borodina was out and it was this got chick
A: that old one was death
J: and Jovan Muskovich is way hot and was emoting all over the place. and she was acting like a TOTAL SLUT
J: it was awesome
J: no, Garanca's run is over and tonight was supposed to be the first night of Borodina
J: but she was out and it was some gal named Viktoria Vizin
J: and her singing was good. Her voice was a little small but she basically brought it and just REALLY ACTED LIKE A WHORE
J: and he was all on top of her and feeling up her dress all the way up to her ass and verging into crotch
J: and all the Russians who came to see Borodina were like "ach!" and turning their heads
J: and they put that nice gay Kwiecien in this tight matador outfit but it was clear he maybe had more of a crush on Jovanovich than on Carmen
J: and it was also the met debut of this really young french composer
J: and he took all the dances really fast and had floppy hair and was bouncing up and down
A: that's a good subtext for carmen
A: escamillo really steals her just to make don jose jealous
J: but he loved his pretty glittery matador outfit
J: yeah there's total opportunity during the knife fight music for erotic tension
J: that would be such a great deconstructionist Carmen!!!
A: oh man
A: c'mon europe
J: and then Don Jose kills her to be with Escamillo
A: and then then he runs in and they kind of make out before the bullfighting police or whatever take him away
A: and scene
J: so good
A: with like, extreme red spotlight center stage
J: and all the outfits could be leathery
and Michaela should DEF be like a fat fag hag
J: and he sort of goes with Carmen cause she's so fierce
A: "hey don jose...does this dress make me look fat? Don jose I really need yoru opinion here"
A: "Mais oui, tu est une vache"
J: Michaela is all trying to dance with a rose in her mouth but she's like Camryn Manheim fat
A: "Vache totale"
A: where is that opera suggestion box when you need it
A: i think i heard an interview with that conductor
A: it was cute
J: he was tres adorable